Mini-review: The Haunting (1963)

The Haunting
Directed by Robert Wise

A creepy haunted house movie that still stands as not only one of the very best horror films of the '60s, but of all-time. Amazingly-shot and well-acted, this is the subtle, reserved type of horror I love. Instead of having things flying at you, Wise chooses to build atmospheric tension without needing to show the audience almost anything. The result is one of the most creepy and awesome horror movies of its time. Even over 50 years after its release, it still manages to make my hair stand on end. A great ghost story and an absolutely unmissable horror classic.

Mini-review: Madhouse (1974)

Madhouse
Directed by Jim Clark

A fairly forgettable horror mystery with a decent setup marred by an uninspired twist ending and an unfortunate misuse of horror icons Vincent Price and Peter Cushing. When given the right material, both of these actors can be compelling, entertaining, and even quite chilling; but with what they were given here, neither of them shine at all, and the whole movie fails because of it. Price is given a mopey, uninvolved character, whereas Cushing isn't given much to do at all (until near the end, which is where the movie starts to pick up, despite being relatively predictable). No, this isn't a bad movie. It's decent. But it could have been much more, which is really its biggest problem.

Mini-review: Twins Of Evil (1971)

Twins Of Evil
Directed by John Hough

A beautiful-looking gothic vampire film from Hammer, and one of my personal favorites of their selection. Very dark and menacing, this movie is one of the most daring efforts from the horror studio, and an odd showcase for the two lead performances by Playboy centerfold twins Mary and Madeleine Collins -- who actually give a surprisingly strong pair of performances. Filled with multi-dimensional characters, awesome costume and set designs, great suspense and build-up, and yet another fantastic performance by Peter Cushing (notice a trend yet?). Incredibly underrated, and one of the best vampire movies out there.

Mini-review: Tales From The Crypt (1972)

Tales From The Crypt
Directed by Freddie Francis

Fun, spooky, and one of the better horror anthologies of its time, this movie switches from segment to segment without any weak spots. It's the right balance of creepy and silly that makes for a very entertaining watch. Some of the performances are over-the-top, but never in a way that's distracting or uneven with the tone of the whole movie, and some of the performances are actually really compelling. Peter Cushing's small role is a prime example of that (which is basically a no-brainer, because he's always awesome). I'm surprised more people haven't seen this movie -- I'd call it one of the most underrated horror films of the '70s.

Mini-review: The Invisible Man (1933)

The Invisible Man
Directed by James Whale

The greatest film by one of the greatest horror directors of all-time. Equal parts entertaining and impressive, this movie takes a monster and makes it into an incredibly compelling lead, thanks largely to the fiercely passionate and dedicated performance by Claude Rains. Though the movie itself isn't "scary", there are many great scenes surrounding Rains' psychotic and tragic lead that leave a strong impression. A fantastic performance piece as well as a revolutionary, brilliantly edited and constructed paranoid horror/mystery/sci-fi film with plenty of laughs and impressive special effects. The best Universal monster movie, without a doubt.

Mini-review: The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)

The Masque Of The Red Death
Directed by Roger Corman

A high point in the careers of Roger Corman and Vincent Price. This beautifully-shot Poe adaptation is one of the darker films in Corman's filmography, and a great example of just how great a filmmaker he really is. Theatrical, poetic, darkly cynical, and morbidly entertaining, I see this movie almost as Corman's take on The Seventh Seal -- one I consider to be one of the greatest films ever made. Though this obviously doesn't hold a title that strong, I still really dig its style and scope.

Mini-review: The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

The Hills Have Eyes
Directed by Wes Craven

One of the earliest crazy hillbilly killer movies, and one of the most genuinely creepy. The acting is a bit stiff, but the characters are compelling enough to give you a reason to care what might happen to them (a statement that wouldn't apply to a majority of movies like this). Much like Wes Craven's first film, The Last House On The Left, this movie is violent, controversial, daring, and more than a little disturbing. It may not hold up as well as some others from its time, but still quite effective.

Mini-review: Annabelle (2014)

Annabelle
Directed by John R. Leonetti

A horror movie that's probably only mildly creepy to audience members between the ages 3-9 (the rest should find it just plain silly). A not-really-follow-up to The Conjuring, but based on a sub-plot from the film surrounding a seemingly possessed doll -- the image of which being by far the "scariest" thing in the movie. About as creepy and atmospheric as a stack of pillows near a fireplace, and just like that statement, this movie may leave you thinking "um, what?" but you won't have any reason to be afraid of it.

Mini-review: Peter Rottentail (2004)

Peter Rottentail
Directed by John Polonia & Mark Polonia

Among the silliest movies I've ever seen, this killer demon rabbit magician movie is the right amount of ridiculous to be fun, but not overdone to the point where it becomes annoying. Combine the obvious budget restrictions evident in the casting and costume choices with the "boing" sound effects when the titular creature hops, and the magic bunny-themed weapons (including killer carrots and...a meat cleaver...?) and you've got yourself a pretty fun movie. Doesn't take itself too seriously, but isn't nearly as self-aware as you might imagine: the right combination of ridiculous and bad.

Mini-review: Yeti: A Love Story (2006)

Yeti: A Love Story
Directed by Adam Deyoe & Eric Gosselin

A trashy bit of fun, this movie essentially encapsulates all that is both wonderful and horrible about Troma films all in a neat 80 minutes. Low budget, campy, self-aware, tasteless, tacky, funny, and completely insane and ridiculous in almost every way, it's a wonder movies like this even exist. With this kind of film, it's hard to recommend to people, but for the people who do enjoy trashy B-movie satire, this will be a good one to look for. Though sometimes the movie takes it too far in the gross-out direction, I still had fun with it.

Mini-review: As Above, So Below (2014)

As Above, So Below
Directed by John Erick Dowdle

One of the most uneven, creative, and ridiculous mainstream horror movies of the past few years, this movie takes many wrong steps as it goes, but succeeds in staying at least interesting and delivering a surprising and often quite interesting third act. What it lacks in scares, it more than makes up for in creativity, and has a few really great moments. It may feel at times a little bit like National Treasure, but I suppose there are worse things in the world than being similar in ways to a silly Nic Cage movie. Also, this really didn't need to be found footage. That's a gimmick that has really run its course, and it would be nice if in the future filmmakers would refrain from arbitrarily using it. Still, as erratic is it may be, this movie is worth looking into if you find yourself in the mood for a different kind of horror film.

Mini-review: The Curse Of Frankenstein (1957)

The Curse Of Frankenstein
Directed by Terence Fisher

The movie that kickstarted Hammer Films as a horror powerhouse, and from what I've seen, my favorite of the bunch. Peter Cushing gives his best performance as a very evil, menacing Dr. Frankenstein, and while the movie isn't faithful to the novel, it doesn't follow the story of the 1931 James Whale adaptation either. It's its own creation, and though the monster isn't nearly as fleshed out and interesting as others, as for a depiction of the mad scientist himself, this easily my favorite. Cold, creative, and even sometimes creepy, this is one of the best Frankenstein movies I've seen, and a great re-imagining of the source material.

Mini-review: The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959)

The Hound Of The Baskervilles
Directed by Terence Fisher

A great vehicle for Peter Cushing to show off just how great of an actor he really is, this popular adaptation is one of the very best I've seen from the Sherlock Holmes catalog and features my favorite Holmes performance. An interesting story presented in a way that works far better as a film than as a novel, this movie has tension, twists, and some really great visuals to match the mysterious tone. Another solid effort from Hammer Films.

Mini-review: The Mummy (1959)

The Mummy
Directed by Terence Fisher

Of all the landmark Hammer horror films I've seen, this one has to be my least favorite. And even still, it isn't a bad movie. With Peter Cushing delivering one of his many strong performances and poor Christopher Lee playing a monster (as usual), this movie is all style and little substance. Not even remotely creepy or tense, this film focuses more on storytelling. And while the story it tells is enough to keep your attention, it isn't enough to keep you interested in what might happen next. Not bad, but not good. Worth a watch only if you're in the mood for a small dose of ancient Egypt.

Mini-review: The Fog (1980)

The Fog
Directed by John Carpenter

Slow, atmospheric and unique, this ghost story from John Carpenter does a great job at building tension using a strange scare device without ever seeming silly or gimmicky. Though it doesn't match the quality or effectiveness of his other horror classics, Halloween or The Thing, I find that an unfair comparison seeing as how both of those movies are absolutely amazing. But for a simple '80s ghost story, this movie delivers some chills and, as a rarity for horror, actually improves on repeat viewings -- at least, it did in my case.

Mini-review: Ice Cream Man (1995)

Ice Cream Man
Directed by Paul Norman

Featuring a rare leading role for Clint Howard (AKA Ron Howard's weird brother), this cornball horror movie is just bad enough to be relatively funny, but good enough in ways to make it somewhat interesting. Clint Howard is creepy; but not in the way he's supposed to be. He kind of does a Batman voice throughout the movie, and is obviously only the kind of performance that's intended to scare little kids -- but the movie is rated R, so little kids shouldn't be watching it anyway. Entertaining enough, but definitely not worth spending anything more than a little of your time on.

Mini-review: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Directed by Jalmari Helander

One of the most imaginative Christmas movies ever made (which is saying something), and one of the most bizarre and awesome horror movies of the past 10 years. At times this "evil Santa" film feels like a kids movie, until things start getting serious, and you're left amazed that something that gruesome could make its way into a Christmas movie. No, this isn't the scariest thing out there, but it doesn't really try to be. Instead, it tells a unique story in a unique way, and ends on a high note. Great holiday viewing for anyone with a sweet tooth for seasonal horror.

Mini-review: It (1990)

It
Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

Released as a two-part miniseries, this Stephen King adaptation has all the common traits found in his work. Though obviously not intended for adults, this movie has moments of creepiness, but much of that is diffused by how childish and bloated the story is. Pennywise the clown is one of the most iconic horror villains of the past 25 years, and a large reason for that is due to the actor playing him. Tim Curry gives it his all (as usual) in a performance that ranges from genuinely creepy to over-the-top silly and ridiculous, and the result is entirely entertaining. Not a bad movie, but still far too long for its own good and not very scary.

Mini-review: The Vanishing (1988)

The Vanishing
Directed by George Sluizer

Perhaps a little too dry for its own good, but just tense enough to keep things interesting. Often hailed as a masterpiece, and though I personally don't feel that way about it, I can understand the appeal. This is not a typical horror movie -- in fact, one could argue it's not even a horror movie at all. Slow, tense, gritty, and disturbingly cold, this is the kind of movie that won't scare you, but what it does do is get under your skin and stay there long after the ending credits roll.

Mini-review: Gingerdead Man 2: Passion Of The Crust (2008)

Gingerdead Man 2: Passion Of The Crust
Directed by Silvia St. Croix

Anyone who knows my taste in movies understands that I am not the most prudish person out there. I like trashy, goofy, ridiculous movies as well as I like pretentious arthouse films. That being said, what this movie has to offer is absolutely nothing I can get behind in any way. I enjoyed the first Gingerdead Man, as it did not assault my senses with an avalanche of trash, unfunny jokes, and complete lack of creativity or merit. In other words, it actually had something to offer. This sequel - this abomination - is one of the most uninteresting, unintelligent, horrible, unfunny, worthless, artless pieces of trash I've ever seen in my life. It doesn't offend me by being tasteless; it offends me by existing in the first place. Someone decided this movie needed to exist, and its sheer existence is a punishment to humanity and an offense to everything you have ever loved.

Mini-review: Blacula (1972)

Blacula
Directed by William Crain

With a title this amazing, this movie should have been so much better. Nowhere near as funny or silly as it ought to have been, a good deal of this movie is actually pretty straight-forward and dry. William Marshall gives a good performance, but this is over-shadowed by the fact that the movie itself is a bit of a joke, and his performance is far too good to belong in a blaxploitation flick. Don't get suckered in by the title; this movie is not particularly fun, funny, or even original at all.

Mini-review: Thankskilling (2009)

Thankskilling
Directed by Jordan Downey

Outrageous, ridiculous, bizarre, trashy, and totally awesome, this "horror" comedy about a killer turkey makes for one of the most entertaining purposely bad movies I've ever seen. Filled with hilarious one-liners, ridiculous moments, and just about anything else you could ask for from a low-budget trashy B-movie. Yet another movie I wouldn't recommend to just anyone -- meaning almost anyone at all, because this is a really tasteless movie with almost no production value or quality of any kind at all. I just really dig it.

Mini-review: Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (2006)

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon
Directed by Scott Glosserman

Starting off with a great premise that eventually disintegrates into a series of predictable cliches and obvious conclusions, this self-aware slasher film may cover similar ground as Wes Craven's Scream series, but tackles the subject in a completely different way. With a charming and psychotic lead in Nathan Baesel as the titular Leslie Vernon, this movie makes a few missteps, but more than makes up for them with its dark sense of humor and imaginative storyline. Fans of the slasher genre will find a lot to love here.

Mini-review: Lake Mungo (2008)

Lake Mungo
Directed by Joel Anderson

A slow-paced faux documentary that spends more time building up to a dramatic ending than it spends trying to tell an interesting story. Moments of eerieness are dispersed throughout the film in between interview segments that break the tension and take you out of the potentially immersive experience. Never delivers the punch it spends far too much time building up to, leaving you wanting and expecting much more. A strong premise executed in a very matter-of-fact way that eliminates a good portion of what could have made the movie creepy, powerful, and haunting. Still, an interesting movie that is worth checking out.

Mini-review: Demons (1985)

Demons
Directed by Lamberto Bava

An exceedingly entertaining piece of Italian horror, this Argento-produced bit of schlock is funny, gory, and just about everything you could ask for from a cheesy '80s horror movie. I was fortunate enough to experience this movie for the first time in a crowded room full of horror enthusiasts, and the experience alone was enough to make me enjoy it. Corny, gory, ridiculous, a great movie to watch with a bunch of people, and one of the most entertaining and intriguing Italian horror films I've ever seen.

Mini-review: Cheap Thrills (2014)

Cheap Thrills
Directed by E.L. Katz

Black comedy, drama, horror, thriller; whatever you choose to call it, this movie is an excellent addition to the genre. With great performances from all 4 leads, director Katz gets all he could ask for from his dedicated actors, who go all out in every way to drive the point home. Chock full of laughs, cringes, and many other awkward and dirty feelings, this is a movie that totally lives up to its title and exceeded all my expectations. An awesome experience for some, but definitely not recommended to the overly-sensitive or anyone with an overactive gag reflex.

Mini-review: House Of The Devil (2009)

House Of The Devil
Directed by Ti West

Though it doesn't match up to the quality of his two follow-up films (The Innkeepers and The Sacrament), it's hard to deny the obvious talent displayed here by Ti West in his feature-length directorial debut. Practically the dictionary definition of "slow burn", this movie is both menacing and subdued (well...mostly) in a way few directors are capable of pulling off this early in their career. Mature, ambitious, and very '70s, but not in an obnoxious or stupidly corny way (I'm looking at you, Hobo With A Shotgun).

Mini-review: The Innkeepers (2011)

The Innkeepers
Directed by Ti West

It took until my second viewing to appreciate just how good this movie is, but now I can't stop thinking about it. Featuring two of the most likable leading characters ever in a horror movie and a tension and atmosphere that builds and builds until its conclusion. Even with a less-than-stellar ending filled with far too many "don't go in there!" moments, I still loved every minute of it. Slow, but fun to watch -- and creepy as hell to watch alone.

Mini-review: You're Next (2013)

You're Next
Directed by Adam Wingard

Not nearly as genre-defining and pioneering as some will have you believe, but still probably the best slasher movie since Scream. With a dark, twisted sense of humor and some really great character performances (most notably Sharni Vinson, as one of the coolest horror heroines ever), this movie toys with your expectations and delivers laughs as well as some very creative kills -- which, believe it or not, is actually something that matters a lot to me when it comes to slasher movies. No, this isn't an instant classic by any means, but an entertaining movie that's fun to watch again and again.

Mini-review: The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

The Most Dangerous Game
Directed by Irving Pichel & Ernest B. Schoedsack

Cold, sadistic, and bitterly ironic, this movie was ahead of its time as well as a timeless commentary on the brutal nature of man. Count Zaroff makes for an effective villain; a "civilized" man who has discovered a new prey and method of hunting to satisfy his animal urges. No time is wasted here, sending you straight into the story without hesitation. Short, but in no need of further fleshing-out of its story or characters, this movie says what it needs to say, and ends far before it wears out its welcome.

Mini-review: Dead Of Night (1945)

Dead Of Night
Directed by Cavalcanti, Charles Crichton, Basil Dearden & Robert Hamer

One of the earliest horror anthologies, and from what I've seen, probably the best. Though some of the segments are more than a little silly (meaning one of them is...I just didn't want to single it out), the movie as a whole is solid, and often actually quite unsettling. Everything ties in together here in a way that most anthologies fail to do, making it one of the better executed examples of the method that I've seen. A very creepy, atmospheric predecessor to The Twilight Zone, and more than adequate Halloween viewing.

Mini-review: The Old Dark House (1932)

The Old Dark House
Directed by James Whale

One of the funnier classic Universal horror movies, and also one of the least talked-about. James Whale's films have always struck me as the most entertaining and energetic of the era, and this movie, though not quite on the same level as The Invisible Man or Bride Of Frankenstein, is still no exception. Filled with biting dialogue, bizarre and interesting characters, and performances rife with creepiness and excellent comedic timing. Far from the "scariest" movie of its time (which as a title wouldn't really mean much anyway), but still very entertaining.

Mini-review: Haunt (2013)

Haunt
Directed by Mac Carter

Usually when I give a low rating for a movie, it's because of all the things it does wrong -- and to an extent that's the case here. But here it's largely due to the complete lack of *right*: nothing about this movie is even remotaly original or memorable in any way. The acting is mediocre, the music is forgettable, there is no atmosphere to be heard or, the jump-scares are ineffective and this same basic story has been done to death a thousand times over. Just don't waste your time with this unless you think great horror is lack of build-up followed by things occasionally jumping out at you for about an hour and a half.

Mini-review: The Raven (1963)

The Raven
Directed by Roger Corman

Probably the earliest completely self-aware "horror" film from Roger Corman, and one of the most entertaining in many ways. The effects are corny, the acting is over-the-top, the dialogue does a great job at matching that tone, and the look/setting is actually pretty awesome in a gothic sort of way. Worth watching even if just for the final wizard duel, and seeing Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and a young Jack Nicholson all in the same picture. Fun, goofy, and surprisingly ahead of its time.

Mini-review: All Hallow's Eve (2013)

All Hallow's Eve
Directed by Damien Leone

An un-creepy attempt at anthology horror done in the same fashion as V/H/S, only this time with little kids and their insanely terrible babysitter watching a mysterious videotape featuring all kinds of horror cliches and a "scary clown" that is neither scary nor a clown (it's totally a mime). There is a lot a movie can do with the anthology set-up, and this movie didn't take advantage of almost any of those things. Totally unimaginative, uninspired, and pretty weak in general.

Mini-review: House (1986)

House
Directed by Steve Miner

Mildly creepy and entirely silly, this movie is bizarrely original and totally unpredictable. Taking a far more literal approach to PTSD than just about anything I've ever seen, this challenges your perception of what to believe and delivers a few decent jump-scares along the way. Some parts are creepy, others are funny, but most of it is just plain weird. The ending is somewhat unexpected, but when the entire movie is at least slightly confusing, that's not necessarily much of a surprise. Overall, worth a watch, and I'll be sure to check out the sequel to see what it might have to offer.

Mini-review: Dead Snow (2009)

Dead Snow
Directed by Tommy Wirkola

One of the better zombie movies to come from the wave of undead we were all subjected to about 5 years ago, and one of the more unique in concept. No, nazi zombies isn't a new idea, this is one of the more entertaining examples of it. Few other zombie movies have the look and feel to it this movie has, with large portions of it taking place during daylight hours in a snowy landscape. Gory, funny, exciting, and takes a few surprising turns along the way.

Mini-review: Swamphead (2011)

Swamphead
Directed by Dustin Drover & Justin Propp

This movie is practically the dictionary definition of what would classify as an acquired taste - or, rather lack of taste. Gory, tasteless, ridiculous, and ridiculously tasteless, this low budget horror movie is fully aware of its limitations and low-brow sensibilities, and shamelessly runs with it. Equal parts hilarious, absurd, and repulsive, this is the kind of low quality trash I could easily find myself watching again. No, it's not scary (nor does it try to be), and in many ways doesn't have any right to exist in the first place, but it's entertaining in a sleazy kind of way, and great material for bad movie night.

Mini-review: The Last House On The Left (1972)

The Last House On The Left
Directed by Wes Craven

At times excruciating to watch, but completely worth struggling through if you have the stomach for it. Brutal, disturbing, and well-acted (David Hess is a particular standout), Wes Craven started off his directorial career with a bang. Though the tone is a bit uneven, the characterization is lacking, and the soundtrack leaves little to be impressed by, there are few other complaints I can make towards this low budget horror classic. Just don't watch it until you're ready for something that's really messed up.

Mini-review: The Black Cat (1934)

The Black Cat
Directed by Edgar G. Ulmer

Probably the creepiest of all classic Universal horror movies, this movie is a bizarre, risque showcase for Lugosi and Karloff, giving two of the best performances of their respective careers, aided by a script that lets the two legendary actors play off each other to great effect. Though there are holes in this movie (mostly found in the performances by its *other* leads and in the recycled musical score), most of what it has to offer is dark, eerie, and surprisingly unsettling for a film of its time. Well-shot, much more fleshed-out than it could have been, and quite effective.

Mini-review: Horror Of Dracula (1958)

Horror Of Dracula
Directed by Terence Fisher

One of the earliest and (from what I've seen) one of the best of the Hammer horror films, this odd take on the Dracula story is filled to the brim with lively performances, beautiful scenery and practically dripping in atmosphere (get it? "Dripping"? Like blood? Because vampires?). Though not as elegant as the 1931 version, this movie takes the story and puts a few twists on it that help keep it from being a simple knock-off, while still being an interesting adaptation of the source material.

Mini-review: Frogs (1972)

Frogs
Directed by George McCowan

A genuine surprise, if only for the fact that it's not nearly as silly and idiotic as it probably ought to be. Though obviously not the darkest, most horrifying of horrors, this is a movie that knows its limitations and doesn't make an ass of itself (if that's something a movie can even do in the first place). There were a few moments that actually worked, and though it's hard to find frogs even remotely terrifying, I appreciate the effort and relative effectiveness of this movie -- especially considering its inherent restraints. Also, bonus points for the poster.